A farewell.

[saxikath]

If you don't LARP, the following may not make much sense, and may in fact sound silly.



My Legends character, Sinduri, went to her final death this morning. (The way death works in the game is, you get some number of deaths before it becomes permanent. Eventually, you get to a point where it becomes a matter of chance whether you come back. I reached that point, was given five runes to choose from (of which four meant I went back and one meant I didn't), and chose wrong.)

It was a good death, as these things go, dying while trying to save her teacher and mentor from his own final death. I was glad it wasn't some stupid random encounter.

But it's still an odd feeling. Sinduri was the first LARP character I ever played, and I've been playing her for more than four years now. That's a lot of weekends spent living inside her head. She had quite a long life for a LARP character, and survived an awful lot of deaths (16, I believe I was told), but it's still very strange to think of her as gone.

The end was so sudden that it's still a bit stunning, but I expect I will be "processing" this, as they say, for at least a few days. It sounds silly to grieve for a figment of my own imagination, but I do.

Comments

[tmcay.livejournal.com]

I think I can understand your sense of grief, and I don't find it silly. Please accept my sincere condolences. I hope Sinduri's life will have enriched you as a person.

[saxikath]

Thanks. I think it has. I found some things in myself that I don't think I knew were there before.

[stevie-stever.livejournal.com]

One of my teammates permed the week before. Death came personally to take him away. My character was left in tears. It's a really moving thing when rped a certain way.

[saxikath]

I know what you mean. I've been there, too, and I've been nearly there waiting to see if someone would come out or not.

I'm told there were tears when the bell rang for me (there's a bell Death rings when someone finals). That's gratifying, in its way; it's nice to know you've made a difference.

[lunacow]

It doesn't sound silly. I spend an awful lot of my time concerned with the welfare of people who don't exist. It must be especially hard when you really become the character, and when you don't control what happens, rather than being the all-powerful Author.

What happens now? Do you create a new character for next time you play Legends? Do you make your character from scratch, or are certain roles or traits handed out by someone in charge?

[saxikath]

Yes, I create a new character for the next time (in the fall; at least I left myself with a lot of time to figure out what I want to do next!). I make it from scratch; there are rules about how you do it, but I get to decide the character, the skills, the backstory, etc.

[cramerica.livejournal.com]

Sinduri! I'll miss her too.

[dcltdw]

Wow. Huh.

And no, it's not silly.

And yes, it is strange to think of her as gone.

It's nice to have a final death that has meaning.

[meranthi.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with grieving. This is someone who was real on the weekends you played, and them dying is like any other friend.

I've cried for table top characters, and they aren't necessarily as engrossing. *HUG*

[bookishfellow.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you. I've never lost an RPG character I was terribly attached to, but I understand how emotional such situations can get when well played. I'm sure Sinduri will be missed.

Next time, maybe you could play a brick! I got some of my best roleplaying out of big, strong, dumb characters. Granted, I wasn't doing live-action combat.

[kelkyag]

I'm glad it was a good death, at least.

[zahnarabai.livejournal.com]

WAAAAAAAAHHH

I did adore her so.

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

Hey, not silly at all. Sorry it worked out that way.

[diagonti.livejournal.com]

My sympathies on your loss.

I'll miss Sinduri. I'm certain her loss will affect many of us greatly.

:(

[narbeleth.livejournal.com]

SO SAD!!!

I'll miss Sinduri so much. I've admired her in so many ways over the years- she really was Luna's older sister. I thought it was a pretty epic way to go out though- It'd be cool to write a novel about her life, with already a great ending, in my opinion. I've always thought you were one of the best roleplayers at legends, and I'm excited to see your new character!!