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Jan. 10th, 2007
Mattering.
Jan. 10th, 2007 10:42 am(Warning: this is a rather self-indulgent entry. I'm not fishing for compliments, really; I'm just putting down on (virtual) paper some things that have been rattling around my brain.)
Yesterday's mail brought me a lovely handmade scarf in shades of blue and purple. It came from an NPL member that I'm not sure I've ever even met in person; if I have, it was in passing at conventions. It was a thank-you for being editor.
This made me think again about something that's occurred to me a lot lately. It being a transition time, from one year to the next, I've been thinking a fair amount about the past year. And one theme that seems to have recurred a lot (especially if you include the beginning of 2007) is "finding out that I matter to people."
Now, intellectually, I know I matter to people. People matter to me, so presumably I matter to someone. But I'm not always aware of it. I spend enough of my time alone that I tend to forget that I have established connections with people, and those connections might matter to someone else. It's very easy for me to get solitary.
But this year, I've had a number of encounters and events that made it explicit. Some have been big and dramatic, like getting an iPod from the Boston NPL people. Some have been particularly emotional, like Skyler leaving me his hat. Some have been quiet; conversations at con or at parties, where people have said or done things that made me realize I was in some way important to them. Some have been what some people would think silly, particularly the reactions to my Legends character's in-game death.
But they've made me very much aware that yes, I really do matter to people, including people I wouldn't necessarily have expected. And that's a nice feeling. It's a little weird, too, because we as a society don't tend to express that sort of thing except to those we are most intimate with. Why is that? Why don't we let people know that they're important to us? It feels so sappy to do so, and yet, as I'm finding, it makes a difference.
So I'm adding a goal to my list of goals for 2007: Tell people when they do things I appreciate, and let the people who are important to me know that they're important. Not necessarily telling them outright "You're important to me," but find ways to let people know. Life is too short to ignore those connections.
Yesterday's mail brought me a lovely handmade scarf in shades of blue and purple. It came from an NPL member that I'm not sure I've ever even met in person; if I have, it was in passing at conventions. It was a thank-you for being editor.
This made me think again about something that's occurred to me a lot lately. It being a transition time, from one year to the next, I've been thinking a fair amount about the past year. And one theme that seems to have recurred a lot (especially if you include the beginning of 2007) is "finding out that I matter to people."
Now, intellectually, I know I matter to people. People matter to me, so presumably I matter to someone. But I'm not always aware of it. I spend enough of my time alone that I tend to forget that I have established connections with people, and those connections might matter to someone else. It's very easy for me to get solitary.
But this year, I've had a number of encounters and events that made it explicit. Some have been big and dramatic, like getting an iPod from the Boston NPL people. Some have been particularly emotional, like Skyler leaving me his hat. Some have been quiet; conversations at con or at parties, where people have said or done things that made me realize I was in some way important to them. Some have been what some people would think silly, particularly the reactions to my Legends character's in-game death.
But they've made me very much aware that yes, I really do matter to people, including people I wouldn't necessarily have expected. And that's a nice feeling. It's a little weird, too, because we as a society don't tend to express that sort of thing except to those we are most intimate with. Why is that? Why don't we let people know that they're important to us? It feels so sappy to do so, and yet, as I'm finding, it makes a difference.
So I'm adding a goal to my list of goals for 2007: Tell people when they do things I appreciate, and let the people who are important to me know that they're important. Not necessarily telling them outright "You're important to me," but find ways to let people know. Life is too short to ignore those connections.
Funniest dog photo ever.
Jan. 10th, 2007 04:19 pmOr at least of today. I love Cute Overload, and this one made me laugh out loud after having to cancel dinner with a friend because of work commitments.