Why I'm going to hell, reason #87.

According to a piece I heard on NPR this morning, it is traditional when a pope dies that an official -- the chamberlain, or some such -- calls his baptismal name loudly three times, and then taps him on the head with a silver hammer. (Some Googling indicates that this same hammer is used to smash the pope's official ring and seal after his death to indicate the end of his authority.)

This is not why I'm going to hell.

I'm going to hell because I have horrible parodies of "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" going through my head.

"Bang, the papal silver hammer went down on his head;
Bang, the papal silver hammer made sure he was dead..."

(To my Catholic friends, I apologize and I do realize this is a serious time. But I couldn't help it.)

Free time? What's that?

I unexpectedly have no commitments this weekend. (My Saturday rehearsal was cancelled.) I have one thing I need to do Sunday afternoon or early evening, but that's it.

I probably should do my taxes. But other than that... well, I'll ask you all: What should I do this weekend?