A question answered.

[saxikath]

Or rather, 26 questions answered, all from fizzixrat.

a) The old lady, of course. As long as Bea Arthur didn't have a baseball bat.
b) Something involving hidden wires.
c) None. They're too classy for those.
d) See above.
e) 32.6.
f) You'd never believe me if I told you.
g) Jerry Remy.
h) Who got the bat.
i) No, but a leather chicken might have been, at least if davehogg were telling the story.
j) Only the one that got hit with the bat.
k) Yes, but luckily they found a rubber antidote.
l) No, just bemused.
m) Carol Channing.
n) 3. It would have gone longer but people kept mixing it up with Spamalot and being disappointed.
o) Depends. Is Kim around?
p) Anytime he likes.
q) Nah. He'd think he had, only to have something else happen at minute 59.
r) Heck no. She survived living with three other old ladies in sitcom land; she can survive anything.
s) Enough to fill the Albert Hall.
t) Too much, clearly, if a mere bat could drop her.
u) Nope. Then again, it wasn't a work day.
v) No, though I have gotten some of my own.
w) If he has, he's not telling.
x) If you have, you're not telling.
y) If I do, I'm not telling.
z) I've been wondering that for nigh on 20 years now... :)

(What, did you think I was going to post the questions, too? :))

Comments

[bunyip.livejournal.com]

Nope, I know better. :)

[lunacow]

You may want to look into the story and song of Naked Bea Arthur.

[dcltdw]

What, did you think I was going to post the questions, too? :)

Not a problem, I love Jeopardy.

a) The old lady, of course. As long as Bea Arthur didn't have a baseball bat.

Did you ever figure out who called the cops during your last stand-up comedy gig? And if you could go back in time, would you still attack her again?

b) Something involving hidden wires.

What's the most baffling thing about where you live?

c) None. They're too classy for those.

If you had to choose a new career for ghostowl and dharklady, which you choose catwalk supermodel, Director of Homeland Security, or Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?

d) See above.

OK, one for the guys: given hariyos and dcltdw, would you choose florist, winner of NYC's 138th Annual Drag Queen Contest, or Deputy Director of Research for the CIA?

e) 32.6.

The most number of ounces of alcohol you've drunk in one party.

f) You'd never believe me if I told you.

Who would you sleep with, even if no one would never ever find out?

g) Jerry Remy.

Speaking of which, any HS or college crushes that you never told about?

h) Who got the bat.

Of your (in)famous last comedy gig, what's the most embarassing part of all that?

i) No, but a leather chicken might have been, at least if [info]davehogg were telling the story.

So, back when we were young, naive college students, I remember walking by your room one night and hearing the strangest noises eminating from within. Now, being in college, one expects to hear bad loud music or overly amorous people; whatever. This wasn't it. Or so I thought.

But y'know, I've been dying to know -- was it anything sex-related, and did you really have a baby hippo involved in it all? Because when I asked people in the lounge what was going on, that was their guess.

j) Only the one that got hit with the bat.

You're definitely a changed person after that whole comedy club incident. Is there anyone you still can't feel sorry for?

k) Yes, but luckily they found a rubber antidote.

What about Kim and Mike? You were of mixed feelings about them.

l) No, just bemused.

Were they shocked that you'd fly into a murderous frenzy when Bea got 2 more points and thus won first place?

m) Carol Channing.

If you could be like any comedienne in the world, who would it be?

n) 3. It would have gone longer but people kept mixing it up with Spamalot and being disappointed.

Before you hit the professional circuit, you did a few gigs on campus. How many did you do, and why did you stop?

o) Depends. Is Kim around?

Would you consider restarting them?

p) Anytime he likes.

Given what happened with your last gig -- and the whole baseball bat thing -- should that club manager call you back?

q) Nah. He'd think he had, only to have something else happen at minute 59.

Would he regret it? Or think he lost his mind?

r) Heck no. She survived living with three other old ladies in sitcom land; she can survive anything.

[I don't watch TV, so I'm so gonna lose this $400 question.]

s) Enough to fill the Albert Hall.

If you could go back to doing stand-up comedy, would you want a small intimate crowd (the coffeehouse feel) or a big Vegas-style hall? How many people are we looking at here?

t) Too much, clearly, if a mere bat could drop her.

Do you still hate that woman who beat you in the stand-up comedy contest? Have you forgiven her? Or is that asking too much?

u) Nope. Then again, it wasn't a work day.

Btw, being jailed overnight and into the next day -- did anyone really notice?

v) No, though I have gotten some of my own.

Learn anything new in lockup? Meet anyone new?

w) If he has, he's not telling.

Did your partner-in-crime beat up that woman who got first place?

x) If you have, you're not telling.

Should I?

y) If I do, I'm not telling.

OK, back to sex. Would you ever jump a guy at a party that you met that evening?

z) I've been wondering that for nigh on 20 years now... :)

Do you know why you attract such strange people in your life?

[saxikath]

You, sir, are silly. But I knew that.

And honestly, dharklady on the Supreme Court would be awesome to watch. :)

[fizzixrat.livejournal.com]

I am suitably amused. :)


(BTW, would you mind emailing me the questions? I didn't manage to keep a copy, and something tells me I shall want them for posterity's sake.)